Five Reasons People Don’t Understand You!

Five Reasons People Don’t Understand You!

 Have you ever been in a conversation and at the end of it you think “that was pointless”, “that felt forced” or, “now I must call someone else to talk to”? 

*raises hand *

 You are not alone; however, nobody wants to have a full conversation and not be understood, that’s a lot of wasted time and energy. So, TALKITOUT has highlighted five points as to why people may not understand you, and how to be understood. 

Just know these five are not the only five, just TALKITOUT’S starting five.


  1. You don’t want to be understood.


Sometimes we go into conversations guarded, and not really wanting to talk or disclose information.  When you have these types of forced conversations you usually feel unfulfilled and drained. 

  • Solution- Have the conversation with an open mind and know that being vulnerable is ok if you are talking to someone who honors your vulnerability.


  1. You are trying to make someone understand who doesn’t want to.



Sometimes we can spend our time pouring out our heart to someone who doesn’t even have a cup to keep it in. We continuously wrestle with trying to be heard, when the farthest thing from their mind is what we are saying.

*you can’t control people or manipulate them to make you a priority*

Solution – Wait it out! If someone has disconnected from the conversation because of issues, emotions, or circumstance then maybe what you have to say is not as important as their sick mother, lingering debt or cold pizza.  Be gracious people may not be doing this intentionally

Solution 2– if a person shows their disinterest in what you have to say, don’t take it personally, or do, but talk to someone else.  Don’t let there in attentiveness stop you from sharing there are plenty of listeners out there ( TALKITOUT volunteers as a tribute)

  1. You are talking to someone who is too busy to listen



Sometimes we fight to get someone to understand us when they don’t have time to, conversations take time, and to properly understand and process the conversation you must focus. It’s hard to focus when you’re preparing for a meeting or trying to fix dinner for 6 people!


Solution – Block out time, put yourself on their calendar so you know you have their undivided attention

Solution 2- If that person is always too busy for you, make them aware of it!! Let them know that their super business has you feeling neglected or misunderstood.  People can’t fix what they are not aware of.

  1. You are speaking to someone who can not relate



Sometimes we are speaking to someone about something they simply can’t relate to. For example, a 19-year-old with no children may have a hard time relating to 40-year-old married mother of three.   


Solution–  If you are trying to make someone understand what you are experiencing, discuss it from the emotional perspective.   For example, the 19-year-old can relate the excitement of a college graduation, to the mother’s excitement of potty-training. Both are exciting and a relief.


  1. Your own thoughts are unclear, so your communication is unclear



When our emotions are everywhere and our thoughts are racing, nine times out of ten, that’s how our words will come out, everywhere! And my friends it’s amazing how important words are in communicating.

Solution- Take a moment, breath, think and repeat.  A pause in a conversation to get your thoughts together is not a bad thing, neither is recognizing that you are too emotionally charged to communicate.  Being clear in your own mind allows you to communicate so others can fully understand, and you can be fully understood.

We hope this post is helpful! 

Thanks for reading

Remember TALKITOUT is designed to promote HOPE FREEDOM and PURPOSE, so we always listen to understand and hope to be understood.

If you would like to TALKITOUT with us, please feel free to connect with us on social media or email, we look forward to the conversation!


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